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Oct 21, 2014

Don't Be THAT Nurse!

I've worked in healthcare for almost a decade now, and I started at the bottom (now we here!)
I worked my way up from a nursing assistant getting 10$ an hour, to a PCA starting at 15$ an hour, to a nurse makin the bigger bucks. (don't you know its rude to ask how much I make now?!) :P

But no matter what my title was, no matter how much I made, I've always made JUST AS MUCH of a difference in my patients lives!

That being said, here are my own personal guidelines that I follow, to be a great and dignified, yet very humble nurse!

The one who walks into a patient's room, is asked for a bedpan, and walks out to call the CNA! Are you f*cking kidding me? That is not only disrespectful to your assistant, like, "here, you do all the shit work!" ..who is probably doing ten other things.. but how could you do that to a patient? What if you had to sh*t and couldn't walk to a bathroom, and someone made you hold it for even 5 minutes because they felt "too good" to help you? Wow. Nice. If you do that, you are either snobby as hell or just straight up lazy! Yes it is the responsibility of the CNA to put patients on bedpans but you were assigned to that same patient, which means you attend to their needs as well. A CNA is ther to assist you not do everything for you. You work as a team and keep the patient's well being at the center of everything, which includes helping them relieve themselves!

Dont be that nurse who thinks you are better than anyone and everyone who makes less money than you. Because where would you be without that person? Everyone is important. Even housekeeping! Whenever I see someone emptying the garbage in a patent's room I thank them. Because if they didn't do it, I would have to, and I'm busy enough!!! That person may have a family to feed, bills to pay, school, and a lot going on in their lives. What makes you think your life has any more value or meaning than theirs? Don't be like that. Everyone matters.

Don't cut too many corners. I get it, we're all so effing busy and overworked, it's hard to do everything exactly by the books. But if you are doing something that is putting a patients safety at risk, that's a no-no. You put the patient in harms way as well as your nursing license, your facility, and everything you worked so hard for. It's not always smart to use short cuts.

Don't treat patient's as if they're just a diagnosis. They are people. Treat them how you'd want another nurse to treat you, or your loved ones. It's only cool when Dr. House treats them like puzzles! ...Even though that's television, or, netflix in my case.

Don't become a PLANT! You know, the nurse who just sits in a chair and charts! Charting is horrendous especially when you're doing it by hand! I know! But charting these days is taking us right away from the bedside! If it's busy and you don't want to forget things, it helps to carry a little book around, and write down the things you need to chart, and the times you did those them. I'm not saying not to chart at all during your shift, that's impossible.. but if it's what you spend majority of each hour doing, it may be taking you away from your patients and actually leave you with more to do at the end of your shift. Plus you don't want to get hemorrhoids do you?!

Don't lose your temper with patients or co-workers. I had a co-worker one time throw a phone at me, and I've been talked down to A LOT by people taking their frustration out on me, and not because I really did anything wrong at the time. It was just a hectic night. It's okay to vent and even stand up for yourself if you feel you have to, but there is always a mature and respectful way to do things. If someone has made a mistake, first confront them like an adult, then go to your supervisor if they don't listen. Do not yell, name call, or get physical. That should be common sense!

Treat everyone with respect
Be humble
Realize that we all work together and are all valuable
Do your part, help others
Answer call lights
Be assertive, and mature
Put your patient needs at the center of everything

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY! Laugh, enjoy yourself, form strong bonds with people. Love what you do! And give yourself credit for ALL THAT YOU DO! The world is a better place because of amazing nurses :)

Oct 1, 2014

Single and bitter much?

Hello friends. First I just want to say that I don't usually critique someone else's writing but I could not help myself here. This article has single and bitter written all over it and I will tell you why below if you don't see it for yourself when you read it. 

"While intimate moments and romantic outings used to be part of a couple’s private life, now we aren’t satisfied until we make every single friend on our feed privy to our dating lives, causing them to weep from loneliness afterward. (You got me, b*tches.)"

First off, most people (single and not single) put details of their lives and memories on the internet, especially the positive ones. Facebook isn't supposed to be an open book to the suffering and crappy things we go through, even though some of us do reach out when we are having a bad day. A little too much sometimes...
I do believe there is a good message in your article, telling people to just live life rather than take constant pictures of it. I will give you that.

When I was single, seeing pictures of happy couples didn't make me bitter or sad. I didn't NEED a relationship to make me happy. I was secure with myself and my life on my own. 
So why do so many people feel the need to hate on genuinely happy couples? 
Just because a relationship isn't perfect doesn't mean everyone's is a total lie. Jeez! 

"The better the pictures, the more likely they are to be a misrepresentation. (But if you’re going to dump your relationship on social media, remember to go with Lo-Fi. It never fails.)"

Is that what you tell yourself when you are sitting on your couch with your ice cream, looking at all the happy little couples on IG? 

So then the rest of the article is just a bunch of random pictures and dopey explanations of how your relationship is a lie.. One of these reasons being that he cooked you spaghettios...

So, with that all being said, I do agree that some couples really are unhappy and pose to be happy. But next time you write about it, try not to make it come off as if it's about ALL the happy couples!

It's all in the tone. To the author, your article has a very bitter tone, and weak points. 
As mine is very sarcastic, to the point, and clearly making fun of yours. 

Better luck on the next one! :)

Aug 11, 2014

What is love?

I believe that in order to be happy with someone else you need to find yourself and be happy with that person first.

I met my boyfriend 4 years ago. Although I always thought he was a catch, I hadn't "found myself" yet at that point, and something in my gut told me that he's the type of guy I could be really serious with. My stepmom already knew him and spoke highly of him.. And when I met him I could tell that he is a really good guy. Not only that but very attractive :)
...But I knew I wasn't ready.  :/

I continued to work on myself for two years after that, and then my aunt, who was like a second mother to me, suddenly passed away. I was there through everything. I found her in a coma on a Wednesday morning, and I held her hand on Thursday afternoon as she was taken off of life support. I watched someone I loved so deeply, just slip away.
It was at that point that I realized how short life is, and it also gave me another perspective on love.
When you love people, you should treat them as if you could lose them at any time. Sad, but true.

After she passed I did find myself feeling guilty for things I said and did to her, like bumping heads before I had my coffee and things like that. But I had to forgive myself. She wouldn't want me to focus on the negative.

I also learned that time should not be wasted on letting anyone hurt you. Time should be spent mostly on those who treat you well.

If there is one thing I truly regret, it's not spending enough time with my Aunt. In fact I used to spend more time on people who didn't love me, and didn't treat me well. And when she passed I wished that time was spent on her.
We lived together and saw each other every day but I wish I could sit with her one more time, watch one more episode of Seinfeld or even have one more stupid argument before I have my coffee.
Sometimes you don't realize how much you love being around someone, until you lose them.

So, I learned to not take good people for granted.

6 months after she passed, that awesome guy from years ago, who is now my current boyfriend, asked me out for coffee, which turned into a bunch of dates. And that lead to him asking me to be his girlfriend, which resulted in me being extremely happy and in love to this day. :)

This time, I knew I was ready. I was still a little vulnerable from having lost my Aunt, but I trusted that he wouldn't hurt me. And he hasn't.. He did the complete opposite.
He has taught me that being strong doesn't mean just going through things alone, but knowing who you can trust to help you.

He became my best friend, someone that I could always talk to when I was sad but also someone who I could be extremely happy with.

He brought out a brighter side of me. And that's what love should do. No relationship is perfect, no human being is perfect, but for the most part, you should be content and happy when you're with someone.

So what is love?

Something I had to learn about, and be ready for. Something that I learned to have for myself. Something that brings out the best in people. Something that should not be taken for granted.

And most importantly,
A strong love stays with you,
Even after the person is gone.
[[ Rest in Paradise Aunt Sue,
Love you always. ]] </3

Jun 2, 2014

I am not my illness

It's hard.
those of you with chronic illness know it all too well. You get stuck inside your head, and your body takes over your mind. You start to feel like a "weak person" instead of a strong person with an illness. And you start to want to "give up the fight" and just let it all take over.

If you know this feeling all too well, please keep reading.

There are different psychological stages of illness. When I was first diagnosed, I was in denial. I thought that this was just a phase that I could reverse. I thought that diet and healthy lifestyle could make it all go away. I didn't listen when my doctor gave me a note to give to my boss, to take me out of work. Or when he gave me a prescription for some heavy-duty meds to help me. I threw it all away and barely told anyone about the illness for 2 months. 

Then I ended up in the hospital. Still, I refused to take the medications or stop working. It didn't occur to me that I was "sick" because I was STILL in denial.

I shouldn't have been doing certain things by myself but I refused to ask for help when I needed it. I would do house work and clean by myself, and then lay in bed for hours instead of cooking or eating. I sacrificed certain tasks for other tasks. If I wanted to do the dishes, I had to put off cleaning my car til the next day. I did this for a while until I lost the ability to do most things at all.

People became concerned because I was losing weight, getting confused, sores all over me, I was pale, my house and car were complete messes, and I was just not acting like myself. Rumors started that I had an eating disorder. And truth is, I was border-lining one. I wasn't anorexic, but I had sworn off all food that wasn't organic and gluten free, and sometimes I would even throw food away if it touched another food that wasn't "healthy" to me. I didn't realize how warped my mentality became until a friend put a piece of her chicken on my plate of fruit, and I freaked out, and threw the plate away because it was "contaminated." She got really upset and had a talk with me, and I started to realize something was wrong with me.

One person even asked me if I had been checked for breast cancer and things like that, because of how sick I was started to look. It was during this time that I started to be honest with others about my illness because I didn't want people thinking I had cancer or anorexia. 

I finally started to realize that I was ill, not only physically, but I was becoming mentally ill, but I still was not accepting any of it. I was convinced that if I was "really sick" that I must be responsible for for it, so I continued to eat a certain way and change my lifestyle to "reverse" the illness. I ended up in the hospital a handful more times, and then one of my doctors said, "if you don't listen to me, you're going to die."

Funny thing is, at that point, I wanted to. I never felt good anymore and my mental health was deteriorating because of my physical illness and my inability to accept it and do what I had to do. But I thought of my loved ones. My family, my boyfriend, my friends. I couldn't let myself just die and leave them to wonder why I didn't fight harder, why I didn't do it for them, if not for me. So, I did it for them. I took my meds and I let my doctor take me out of work. But I stayed in school and I got through it. 

I then entered the "sick role" and started to let people help me. I accepted the fact that I could no longer do certain things for myself. And it was one of the hardest transitions of my life! I am independent and love to help others.. I do not like being the patient. I felt inadequate and dependent, and weak.

But over the next 6 months I noticed myself transitioning, from a "sick" person, to a person who fought so hard to get better. The recovery phase. And that was the greatest transition I have ever experienced in my life. I listened to my doctors and I did what I had to do and eventually I was able to go back to work and I became more independent again. It is still a constant battle, because my medications have nasty side effects, and I am not in remission yet. I still wake up in pain and I still sometimes wish I didn't wake up at all. I still have trouble eating and maintaining my weight. I still have days where I want to flush all my meds down the toilet, or throw them out the car window when I have to pull over from the nausea. But in years to come, this may all just be a thing of the past.

Because I accepted the fact that I was sick, I was able to get better.

I see a lot of people go through these phases and get stuck in some of them. Whereas I was stuck in denial, others can get stuck in the "sick phase" and they hold themselves back from getting better. They get used to being dependent on others and their disease becomes a crutch. I never went through that myself but I know people who have, and it's not a way to live.

I understand that there are illnesses that make people dependent for the rest of their lives. It is important for people with these illnesses to maintain whatever independence they still have, but not feel guilty or inadequate for the things they can no longer to for themselves. 

Whatever phase you are in, whatever illness you have.. just remember.. YOU ARE NOT YOUR ILLNESS. You HAVE an illness. 

Sometimes I lose sight of the positive and courageous person I have become, when I focus on the fact that I physically feel weak, and sick, and tired a lot of times. My body is so exhausted right now, from the disease, and the meds I'm taking to fight it. This has been a battle for quite some time now. I am better but when I have my bad days, they are pretty horrid. But the trick is to keep my mind strong, and not lose sight of who I am. Because I am not my illness. 

Jan 16, 2014



*RAISES HAND, along with, everyone else in the world...*

Every single person in this world has been judged ...Unless they are still in utero. (CAUSE NO ONE JUDGES A FETUS!)

I'll be honest here, it's been ingrained in me since I could remember, to seek approval of others.

I've always valued the opinions of others because I am very self aware, sometimes too self conscious, AND I'm a major people pleaser. I deeply consider how others think and feel and I truly want to meet their expectations. I've wasted a lot of time tryig to make people happy with who I am. I had to learn that it's okay to just be happy with myself.

After a lot of growing, self searching, and maturing, I have come to realize that we simply cannot please everyone. And, there will be people out there who are going to dislike me, and disrespect me, no matter how awesome I may be! No matter how many people DO like me!

I see a lot of people caring way too much about what others think and say about them - And since I used to feel so similar, I want to help.

I see it on the internet AND in real life. And it pains me to see people become so sensitive to the opinions of others, which are often not very valid.

A little tid bit about me: I am one of the most self critical people you will ever come to know. I spent my whole life as a child and adult, trying to be good enough for others and myself. Until a couple of years ago I wondered why I could never meet those standards. In a way, I am a perfectionist. There's a little voice in my head that often tells me that I am not good enough and that I need to be better. I've also had a lot of other people in my past make it clear that I'm not good enough for them. And I finally realized, I never will be good enough for certain people, so I'll try harder to be good enough for me.

This included years of therapy and work on myself, and I'm not ashamed to admit that.

I found it in myself eventually, to turn off those insecurity buttons that people knew how to push. I realized that I don't need to explain or defend myself all the time, because I KNOW IN MY HEART, that I have nothing to be ashamed of. END OF STORY. So ow a days, I really try to move on from other peoples' judgements, and opinions.

I want to help others overcome these insecurities and triggers as well, so I've made a list of guidelines to follow:


1) WHO is this person triggering you? Are they close to you? Someone who knows you well enough to make that call? No? Then let it go. If they are someone you really value and trust, then re-consider their intention, and what they are saying. 

2) WHAT are they saying? Is it mean? Constructive? Why is it triggering you? Is it something you need to work on, and is there any truth to it? Or is it simply just meant to hurt you? If it's constructive, work on yourself. Take it as a good thing, something to improve, and be positive about it. If it's disrespectful or meant to hurt you, let it go. It's not coming from a good place, so don't even entertain it.

3) HOW is it being said? Was it in a private, respectful manner, coming from a good place, from someone who wants to help you? Or was it said in public, to embarrass you? Was this person's intention to help you or to shame you?

4) WHY is it being said? Was it said to help you overcome something, or to stop a certain behavior of yours? Or was it said to make you feel bad about yourself? and WHY is it bothering you? Does it trigger some irrational insecurity YOU HAVE about yourself? Or can you use it to constructively work on yourself? 

5) SO.. HOW ARE YOU GOING TO REACT? Are you going to let it go? Or is this something that needs to be dealt with? You can use the previous guidelines to help you determine how you will handle this criticism. BUT I will say, for all reasons, all purposes, EVERYTHING is handled best in a private, calm, non-dramatic matter! Defending yourself in public or in an angry or dramatic nature, is ALWAYS going to be the wrong way to handle anything. The more you train yourself to maturely handle situations, the better you will feel about yourself.

I HAD to set these guidelines for myself to make progress. I had to STOP being so hard on myself and I HAD TO stop letting others get to me! Even people who I was close to! I had to wake up and realize that their words, their actions, their anger, had very little to actually do WITH ME!

There are a lot of people in mind when writing this. I really hope this can help you guys.

The videos below were made for not only myself, to stop caring about what others think, but also to help other people. The one about me being naked, is my ridiculous over-the-top way of saying, hey look, I'm going to give you the illusion that I am completely exposed and post it anyway. I don't care if you're judging me. ;)

And remember guys,

Jan 12, 2014

You know you have an anger problem when...


You like being alone because most people piss you off.

You have been called "butt hurt" by a younger sibling or your acquaintances, quite frequently.

Your social networking sites are full of personal dilemmas that annoy/anger/target other people.

If people are hiding your posts in their news feeds, which you wouldn't really know about because everyone would just deny it to avoid confrontation. Skip this one.

If you have gotten out of a car to confront a shitty driver who cut you off.

If you have followed people who cut you off.

If you frequently argue in the car with people.

If people jump out of moving cars to get away from you.

If people generally just avoid you in every single way possible.

If you have assaulted another human being.

If you have assaulted another human being at a children's birthday party.

If that person was a clown it doesn't count. I hate clowns.

If you spend most of your time yelling.

If you spend most of your time trolling the internet.

If you answered yes to most of these things...

If you can relate to majority of this you may have an anger problem. My advice is to remove the stick, which has been plugging up your ass. You may be a bit backed up. But don't worry, there is help out there for you! 

Just kidding, you're screwed.


Jan 11, 2014

To a power greater than myself

I wrote a letter today. I put it in the box that I keep letters to Aunt Sue. This one wasn't specifically for her, it was to any kind of power greater than myself...

"Please guide me, help me to overcome my weaknesses. Help me become better, greater, stronger, and wiser. Help me love and treat others the best that I can, and please help me show the same greatness, the same kindness, to myself."

Dec 31, 2013

2013 - 2014 / A New Path

So once upon a time,
it was January 1, 2013. 

I distinctly remember, sitting on my couch quietly, wondering, what will this year bring? I had just lost Aunt Sue, 3 months before this. But I had this feeling, that no matter what happened next, I'd survive it. 

I decided that day, as long as I'm alive, I'm going to live

I've accepted that I'm going to feel loss, and pain. Sometimes feeling pain is what makes us alive. Lets us know that our hearts are still beating, that we have things to lose, things to live for...

 Just another part of life, along with it's counterpart, happiness.

I decided that day, to make the most out of life 
because nothing is certain, 
but I'm certain I will live, as long as I'm alive.

I will make the most out of my life, and inspire others do the same.

Things that I've accomplished in 2013:

-Managed to maintain a 3.6 GPA through nursing school thus far, and I'm graduating January 24, 2014. An awesome way to start off the new year! 

Shout out to my amazing Dad for being there for me 100% while I'm in school full time! Couldn't have done this without his support!

-I made a lot of funnies this year, and a lot of people laughed.

-I help a lot of elderly people in my condo complex and this year I may have saved two of their lives (and their hips). I'm like always the one discovering elderly people in trouble. Maybe I have a calling to save all the adorable helpless wrinkly people in the world!

-I met, and grew close to many good people this year. My classmates are awesome! And my girl Christine, if you are reading this, you're a true blessing in my life and I'm so glad we met! Love you big sis <33

-I am bettering my lifestyle after being diagnosed with a chronic autoimmune disease. I overcame the mental, emotional, and physical obstacles that this disease has caused, and I'm only going to keep growing stronger from it! It's taught me a lot about staying positive!

-And, last but not least
I met this amazing guy, and not only gained another best friend this year, but a boyfriend. Two for one! I dig it.
And along with this new relationship I also gained a new perspective on life. You lose some people, but then you gain some. Or as my Aunt Judy put it, you lose one angel and God sends you another. 

The holidays made me realize a lot. I have lost people, I have been through a lot, but I have gained so much. There are so many people, there is so much love, and so much support. 
So much strength in myself. 
And so much to live for. <3

So, goodbye to 2013,
And hello to the rest of my beautiful life!

Happy New Year!!!

Dec 2, 2013


Choosing to be racist in this day and age is old news. It's like choosing to sh*t outside when you have indoor plumbing.

HEY! Why use a toilet when you can do it old school and sh*t in a hole in your backyard? By choice!?
Yeah, it's a way of the past, and so it makes no sense to do that now.

It's the same thing with a racist mindset. You are living in the past, for what reason? Choosing to view the world with closed eyes, a closed mind, and a cold heart.. how is that beneficial to anyone? Including yourself?

There's no intelligent reasoning behind racism. It's straight up ignorant.

The way I see it, being racist is being lazy. It's the lack of motivation and will power to open up your mind. I don't care if you grew up with racist parents. I don't care if your whole town is racist. Grow up, be stronger than that, and choose to think like an individual. If they all jumped off a bridge would you? If you say yes then you're probably better off.

Check out the video below for the latest shenanigan. I think it's safe to say that ignorance and racism is still very much a part of this world today, and it's quite disheartening. But at least more and more people are seeing it for what it really is, pathetic and wrong.

Anyway, that's just my two cents.

What did one racist say to the other?

Nov 26, 2013

Let's talk about sex (WARNING: TMI)

My inner pervert would like to tell you all about different types of people, and how they relate to sex.

So here goes...

"Innocent People" - Shy in large social situations.. They tend to be really loud and aggressive in bed. This is because their shy nature shelters them from being themselves around many people they aren't close with. All that bottled up angst comes out and it's like HOLY KUMQUATS WHERE DID YOU COME FROM? WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT DID YOU DO WITH MY SOCIALLY AWKWARD GIRLFRIEND?! 

The "perfectionists" and "self critics" swing back and forth between complete submission to being the total aggressor. They make sure that their "safe words" are properly pronounced and politically correct. On one hand, they seek to be "punished" for their "mistakes" in life, by submitting themselves to their significant other. They secretly (or maybe not so secretly) love to be man-handled. On the other hand, in times that they want control, they like to be aggressive and sexually attack their significant other whilst pretending that he doesn't want it. BUT IT'S NOT REALLY RAPE IF HE IS WILLING!

And then there are the closet freaks - SO, you accidentally stumbled upon a page from a porno magazine on a playground when you were a little girl. It was a picture of a woman giving a man oral sex. You could not wrap your mind around it so you became terrified of it, and you were like OMG WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT TO DO THAT? I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS!? WHAT IF SOMEONE DOES THAT TO ME? HOLY GOD I MUST AVOID EVERYONE WITH A PENIS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE! ....And then you grew out of that fear and became a complete closet pervert thinking about sex all the time..... until you admitted it on your blog and now everyone knows about it.....

By the way this is all BS (or maybe it's not?)  Maybe it IS about you too?! Anyway OH MY GAWD I AM A SICK INDIVIDUAL.

...Ya think?

Dear self I accept you for who you are, you freaking weirdo.